Forward to 2016 January

It's been some time since ive actually sat down and took the time to sit down to blog. What really gets to me is how fast the time has past since i blogged last. Today it's Sunday December the 20th; Five days away from the most exciting day of my life as a kid. Those days are very long and gone for me now; And i am no longer as young as i used to be as well. One day i hope to write some kind of book about my life and how Poker played a huge part, as to the way it totally changed my lifestyle. Lately here ive been through a lot of trials and tribulations; As life has it those things will all come to past. 2015 although a very tough year for me mentally; Has actually made me a lot stronger than i was a year ago. Like anyone i have a lot of dreams and aspirations; But unlike most the things i want are very simple. One of the biggest things or my dream, was always to prove to myself that my life has been somewhat a success. And sadly at this point in my life i don't feel this way. I wish i could have done things differently earlier in my life. And there are things and situations that i regret even to this day and everyday for the rest of my life.

Ive been fucking around with Poker since 2001; And started taking it a little more seriously in 2007 when i joined Pocketfives.com. Afterwards i was accepted as a member of www.4to1dog.com and my game has slowly transformed to the point where i feel like i can be a real force on the poker tables. Since joining i was able to make $70,000 in cashes online; And about $17,000 in live cashes in Biloxi,MS and Louisiana. The last time i played an MTT on the Merge Network was April 4th 2015; Which was pretty much my bread and butter at the time money wise. Since then the slow payouts and transfer to Bovada has been a very long and hard grind for me. Although ive had my streaks of great deep runs on Bovada. It has been a very long and tiresome grind this past year.

In the real world we have life and death! And i experienced a few losses this year that were very heartbreaking for me. I mean it's life and as we get older the people and love ones we looked up too can't live forever. I also went through a very tough run at work this year; And came very close to losing my job several times. But since then things have settled down, And i realized just how important balance becomes with work and poker. My personal life got a little out of whack also; As my girlfriend of 7 years felt that we should go our ways! And this affected me and my play at the table over the course of a few months this year. Just the entire relocation deal and starting over was not good for me. I have watched a lot of my friends win a lot of money in the last few months. And although yes i am happy for them all; Deep inside it also makes you doubt your own abilities as a poker player. The same guys you go over hands with and share hands and advice. Away from the table we all seem too have a plan; But the ability to move forward and execute on the table seperates the men from the boys. And for the last three months of 2015 i truly feel like i let to many outside distractions destroy my mindset. For 2016 i plan to also give more time to God; Something i feel not only poker players don't do. But just people in general don't do when there going through something. I have several goals for 2016 and i guess ill use this blog to make sure i do what i say i am going to do! I always felt like i was a good person with a heart that's too big to be honest. But i also understand that i have to make a lot of changes in my life as well. I have so much i want to do, and so many people and things i want to enjoy in life. But i guess i failed to realize that with having God and Jesus in my life; Many thing that you actually want has to be approved by him LoL. God knows my heart and my prayers, And ive noticed here lately just how important having Jesus in your life helps your overall bottom line.